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If it's December 2, 2000, it must be Leon County Circuit Court with Judge Sander Sauls as the hearings for the election contest brought about by Al Gore commence. EAT YOUR HEART OUT JUDGE ITO ( This is the real trial of the century! )!!!
Opening statements were more like opening shots:
Gore Campaign attorney David Boies misled that " one in four votes were found ". At least he didn't lie like most DIRTYcRAT TALKING HEADS, saying, " There has been no MANUAL count of some votes in Miami-Dade ". On the Gore Campaign's real wish, counting indented chads, he posed unauthentically, " What is the appropriate legal standard "?
Bush Campaign lawyer Barry Richard said the Gore Campaign wants that, " This court should disregard all the standards of the canvassing boards ". Basically they want to count all those ballots again using their own criteria. " He doesn't like the first count and he gets another count. He doesn't like that count and he gets a manual recount. Now, he doesn't like that count and he wants to count and count ",
Joe Klock ( He gets around? ), lawyer for the Florida Secretary of State, suggested that the burden for a full state recount falls on the contesting party; the Gore Campaign or like Klock said, " The Democrats ". He pointed out that Miami-Dade stopped their count twice and the Democrats never mention how they compelled them to count that first trial batch of ballots from the four most highly RAT INFESTED PRECINCTS. He taunted, as much as these lawyers do to each other, " The butterfly ballot was their prize, now that has been thrown out ( by the Florida Supreme Court ) ". He added, " There is no Florida statute regarding recounts for voter error ".
Mike Mullins of the Nassau County Canvassing Board described, " An unfortunate human error ", where several hundred ballots were not recounted. This was the reason given to revert back to the previous machine count.
And then there was INTERVENTION.
One of the faceless, nameless, attorneys for an intervenor said, " My client lives in the central time zone. The election was called an hour before the polls closed and many people didn't vote ". Another intervenor added, " The manual recount law allows the loser ( Sore or otherwise? ) to cherry pick the counties counted ". Still another intervenor ended, " If we are going to manually recount like Mister Gore says, we should count them all ".
Deeno Kitchen, Gore Campaign lawyer layed a massive notebook of so-called evidence on the bench. From the look of Judge Sauls, it is a good thing they didn't charge by the pound? SHEESH, THE GORE GEEKS TRIED TO OFFER A DEPOSITION INTO EVIDENCE THAT WASN'T EVEN TAKEN YET? AFTER SOME LAUGHTER THEY WITHDREW IT.
Boies and Richard deligated the duties to Steven Zach and Phil Beck, respectfully, though Zach was to receive no respect at the end of the day!
For the Gore Campaign, the first witness ( Uh, Dennis Fung clone? ) was Kimball Brace, the President of Election Data Services, who was, " looking at different voting machines and how they operate; their problems ". Zach questioned and Brace answered, " I started back in 1975...the punchcard was a new voting system back then ". He represented that over thirty percent of voters use the punch card system and bragged, " In the last few weeks my phone has been ringing off the hook ". This guy was really tooting some heavy self-horn, slobbering, " I have been quoted by...( fill in every television channel of publication you can possibly image though you can't remember seeing him? ) "? Seemingly unable to stop on his own, but destined to be soon stopped in his very own tracks, he drooled some more, " We have had numerous works with the FEC ( Federal Election Commission ) in the last few decades ". Hold that thought, as he would never be this happy again today! Remember, when the Democrats are up to something shadey, they always call for something, whether it be fictitious or not, to be fixed; so the questioning led to the subject of neglect to " modernization ".
Brace brought a thirty year old voting machine and wanted to do a demonstration. OBVIOUSLY THERE INSTANTLY WAS AN OBJECTION TO USING A DIFFERENT MACHINE WHEN AN ACTUAL MACHINE WAS AVAILABLE. Judge Sauls allowed them to use it as a visual aid only. Brace did a boring demonstration of how a punchcard ballot machine works. It became quite clear that nobody worked with this guy to organize his testimony. " Unfortunately it doesn't always work that way ", said Brace as he fumbled.
Phil Beck, Bush attorney, could sense the fear from Brace as he began by asking about his credentials. Brace said, " My degree is in political science ". Zach began to constantly object as he watched his witness begin to wilt and squirm, especially when Beck began to expose his association with the DNC. With Zach jumping up and down like a jack in the box, Beck asked of Brace, ' You didn't see any of the machines in Miami-Dade '? The answer from Brace was, " No ". Right back at him, ' You didn't inspect any of the machines in Palm Beach '? " No ", said Brace with, ' You relied upon testimony from other people '? Getting flustered, but nothing like he would be in a few minutes, Brace whimpered, " Yes, but not always ".
As the action started to break down from the obviously not so expert, expert testimony, Judge Sander Sauls had to break in, " Just demonstrating the machine doesn't make him an expert. I am going to it ( his testimony ) what weight it deserves ". You could tell Sauls was getting irritated.
THESE DIRTYcRAT LAWYERS ARE AS CROOKED AS THEY COME.
Brace only saw the Poll Star machine but he was trying to describe the problem using a Vote-a-matic? He first said he only saw a display model then changed his testimony that he saw a machine actually used in the election. The main thing he was to testify to was that, " The left side of the machine gets more wear ". This could have been the new mantra but it got shot down. Guess where the colume to be punched for president is? He also, " Could create a dimple ", by not inserting the ballot card into the machine, voting with the card exposed on top of the ballot pages? He had to admit, " The instructions are to insert the ballot into the machine, not to lay it on top ".
Phil Beck, with this trial firmly in his hands, continued his cross examination and debunking everything you could possibly imagine, including doing his whole demo with the thicker sample ballots instead of the thinner actual ones. Sauls had to interrupt again, " Mister witness did I hear you were using demonstrator cards and not actual cards "? Beck went for thr juggler, asking, ' The sample ballot is not just a yellow version of the actual ballot '? Brace was forced to confess, " The sample is thicker ".
THIS GUY BRACE IS REALLY DENNIS FUNG TWO!
Beck debunked every chad fiction you have heard, as he shreaded Brace, using his very won words ( that is the best way to do it ). He went through the motions of carrying the voting machine, showing how the chads all fall out from cracks under the punch area.
Surprizingly, Andrew McMahon exposed that Brace went to Palm Beach without opposing counsel, sneaking there after calling them? Brace began getting nervous, whining he called because, " I sought to speak to Theresa ". Wow, Brace just betrayed his DIRTYcRAT PARTISANSHIP ( not that we didn't know already )!
Steve Zach cam back on redirect, having his sour game face on. Lawyers get that way when their witness fall off their wall like Humpty-Dumpty? He was visibly irritated, seemingly from being made to look like a fool by Beck. Brace made a complete laughing stock of himself in the one way suggesting there was chad build-up within the machine, but while he was holding it up, he had to apologize to the judge for getting chad all over the judge's bench! It only got worse, as he kept refering to Theresa LaPorte from Palm Beach as, " Theresa " this or that. SAD, REALLY SAD. Zach did have a machine which seemed to contain quite a bit of chad, but it was obvious he had allowed the chad to collect at the end which has the cleaning hatch.
At the end it got worse for the Gore Campaign and Brace, as he was made to admit, " Dimples are the newest phenomenon in election history ". Oh boy. A DIRTYcRAT BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD STINK JUST AS STRONGLY! The Gore case was really self-destructing on the first witness, as the sample polling machine had big instructions printed on it, clearly showing a graphic of making sure the ballot was cleaned off and all the holes were punched completely through.
I would have asked only one question; would ballot chad make good stuffing for Jimmy Hoffa's coffin?
HERE COMES THE NEXT DENNIS FUNG CLONE.
Attorney for the Gore Campaign Jeff Robinson introduced Doctor Nicholas Hengarten, associate professor of statistics from Yale; Sanders having to slow down the overlapping action, saying, " She ( the court reporter ) can only take down one person talking at a time ". Hengartner mentioned, " statistics ", and, " mathematics ", way too many times for my tastes. I think we found the National Socialist Wing of the Democrat Party's own Richard Heydrich ( or was he the kid from the old movie " The Bridge ", who stood behind the panzerfaust? )! He was there to offer double talk and phoney legalese about over and under vote rates. Funny the only thing I associate with " over and under ", is skeet and trap? Anyhow, Hengarten's highs were about to become extreme lows as he was about to go down the old smokestack like the proverbial Kamikaze pilot!
Hengarten isn't even a United States citizen ( I suppose all in all that wound up being a good thing? ). He was feeeling quite at home with his numbers and charts, saying stuff like, " Under vote rate varied...if you are using a puchcard or an optical scanner ". He started throwing around the numbers for thrown out votes: 1) .3% for optical, 2) 1.5% for punchcard and 3) 2.2% for Palm Beach County. I aggree that the punchcards seem to have a higher reject rate but that says nothing about them being Gore votes? Robinson tried to get some mysterious dig in, questioning rhetorically, " What is the chance that would happen bu chance "? this was to be his high spot, and not so high it was.
" The recovery rate was eight percent ", he ( Hengarten ) got the cards mixed up and started to look like he didn't know what he was doing. I was going to give him the benfit of the doubt, but it seems like his data was incomplete and his conclusions were scripted and done before analyzing the information. He did admit that only 50 of 67 areas had given him numbers. Not to add to his integrity, he used the four skewed Democrat districts to extrapolate a completely meaningless number in Miami-Dade. Again, to his credit, or just less discredit, he qietly mentioned the Miami-Dade defect, but did so quickly and in no detail.
Beck moved his laptop to the podium for some cross. From the looks of Hengarten's whitest white skin, I think he should bring a stake and a mallet along with the cross. Little did Hengarten know, that Beck knew right where his coffin was hidden. He did a long waltz with Hengarten until he got him to admit analyzing the under votes in other columes of the ballot other than where the presidential puch hole is, " would be interesting ". Everyone could tell this guy was hiding something.
I THINK HENGARTNER'S RAT BUDDIES AT YALE ARE SQUIRMING IN THEIR SEATS. Is this really the best the Gore Campaign can do?
FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT BACK TURNED INTO BILL GATES TRYING YO GET WINDOWS 95 TO WORK ON STAGE?
Beck then proceded to wipe the floor up with Hengarten, using his won affidavit to the Florida Supreme Court and a document he claimed he didn't know was going to be used by the Gore Campaign ( Oh, was beginning to feel used by the Gore campaign now; I could tell? ). He showed him his signed proffer and pointed out errors; after many objections by Zach, Hengarten was forced to admit, " There are mistakes in the proffer ". That is the nice way to put it; though it doesn't look good for an expert witness to have blatant errors in his official proffer. He tried to rationalize it, though nobody was buying his bill of goods, with, " This was a draft ". Hengarten could whine, but: OH MAN, BECK IS BETTER THAN BARRY SCHECK.
The RAT ATTORNEYS FILED ANOTHER FALSE OR MISLEADING DOCUMENT. How many more of these can they file before the lawyers are held in contempt?
Hengartner filed a sworn affidavit claiming to have analyzed a November 1998 ballot. He had to admit, : I never saw the ballot ". He was beginning to get roasted as he got the columes in the ballot wrong and Beck made him relive the moment of embarassment from several different angles, making him litteraly eat the 1998 ballot in both it's original form and free hand on Beck's drawing easel. Hengartner had to plead, " It was a mistake ". MISTAKE? This is another Gire lie! This guy's whole argument relied on which colume was getting statistically less votes, but he got the columes totally backwards ( OR THE DIRTYcRAT LAWYERS GOT CAUGHT IN A LIE? )!
HOW MANY LAWYERS DOES IT TAKE TO PLUG THE USB CABLE INTO A LAPTOP? THIS IS CONTRASTED WITH C-SPAN COVERING SOMEONE DOING THE JIMI HENDRIX VERSION OF THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER ON THE GRASS OUTSIDE!
WAS THE COLUME ROUTINE BY BECK A BARRY SCHECK MOMENT OR WHAT? THEY ARE GOING TO DISMANTLE BRACE AND HENGARTNER ON SNL OR WHAT?
The George W. Bush and Dick Cheney case began with Fred Bartlit examining Judge Charles Burton of Palm Beach. Remember, he tried to talk the TWO CRAZY LADIES OUT OF THE RECOUNT AT 2AM the second night. The exchange went something like this:
Bartlit: " Did you change the standard " ( of determining votes for Al Gore? ) ?
Burton: " Things started to get a little muddled " ( I guess this was sheepish for YES? ).
Bartlit: " You started using the sunshine rule "?
Burton: " Yes. If you could see light through it, we were counting it as a vote ".
Bartlit: " Like Carnac "?
Burton: " I wouldn't go that far ". ( Huh? Only I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR?
Bartlit: " Tow corner rule "?
Burton: " That was later, during the full recount ".
Joe Klock took over: " Did you find any mechanical defect "?
Burton: " The machine was working fine, anything else was voter error ".
OH MAN BOIES IS REALLY BADGERING JUDGE BURTON.
Burton didn't appreciate the abuse and began to fight back with the truth and his feelings about the Palm Beach County bobsy twins getting out of control at 2AM ( Theresa LaPorte and Carol Roberts - Carol Roberts For President ( 11-13-2000 ) ). Burton exclaimed, " Yahoo, let's get countin' ", adding that, " I didn't think that ( the total recount, not unlike Total Recall? ) was a good thing to do at the time ". Judge Sauls asked some questions which were very non-flattering to the Gore supporters.
The day ended with an invitation to come back again at 9AM Sunday morning, after a quick but slower than it should have been visit fron Richard Grossman, the rubber man since 1957. Grossman was there to testify about one narrow subject, the aging of rubber compounds. Zach would not stop trying to ask other off topic questions during his cross and Judge Sauls got very non-angry, saying, " Mister Zack, I understand the nature of your game !
All in all a very bad day for the DIRTYcRATS, who have been exposed to much of the nation and world as the misleading political party of crooked words parsing commie trial lawyers!
Oh, yeah; I apologize to Dennis Fung...
- Bongo ( Send chads not swatches? )
Updated ( 12-3-2000 )
(c)2000 Bongo.