Now come on everybody, why can't you just leave the President alone? I know the DJIA and NASDAQ were both lower today, but that was before NBC played Dateline tonight; so cut the first philanderer a little slack, okay bud? I mean he is doing the best darn job he can, and he feels your pain, sincerely. Really, trust me; I wouldn't lie to you...he wouldn't either. Oh, he admitted that one already, huh? So soon they all forget ( or is it the old boy who cried wolf routine again? ).

Well, let me tell you, I thought I had just about seen it all; then there came Dateline, starring Juanita Broaddrick. This broadcast beat the last one I watched, Kathleen Willey bares it all, if my memory serves me correctly. I mean Willie just copped a feel on Kathleen, but went all the way with Juanita. I bet if he would have had Willey in a hotel room, he would have been quite a bit more forceful and Kathleen would have gotten just exactly what she really wanted from the President that day!

Lisa Myers had her hands full with a woman who has kept a dark secret for twenty years. Broaddrick was broken up at times, but truely seemed believable. She just really has a nerve making such a big deal about Clinton giving her a little mercy sex ( you know what word I really typed there but went back and changed ) two decades ago! Man, he was the Attorney General. She should have been proud to have been selected as one of Willie's sperm banks. She should have been proud to offer up her body in service of the state of Arkansas ( through the person of Bill Clinton, as oversexed as he may be ). So what's the big deal, a little swollen lip? Sheesh, I bet that went away in a day or two. That inner glow though, the one that the ladies get after half an hour with Little Willie; it stays with them for a long time ( just look at Hillary, yeah right! ).

I mean, when Bill needs a little nookie, he just has to have it, ya' know? So, what's the big deal, they are only women after all? The men make the world go 'round and sometimes they just need to be serviced by the women, any woman, the most conveniently located women ( Bill's fantasy date = 36-24-36 deaf, dumb and blind ). Kiss all that feminism stuff good bye, babe; just open wide and say ah!

Alright, so it doesn't sound like that good a deal right now, but think about the alternative. Bill could have signed that partial birth abortion bill, you know. Then after a child has formed for over six months, you girls wouldn't be able to murder them anymore. So, keep your tongue in cheek and your lips closed tightenly enough to form a vacuum. Remember, what Bill does now, is not really sex. You don't have to bring birth control pills, only mouth wash!

So look, Bill has less than two years left, and he really would do a much better job if he was properly mellowed out. All you supple-lipped girls line up at the service entrance to the Whitehouse, we don't have much time left to see who can polish the old ceremonial helmet to the most properly high luster!

- Bongo ( Anyone else think Juanita Broaddrick looked a bit like Susan MacDougal, when she was younger? )