Remember where the Pope was last year about this same time? The land of Churchills and Double Coronas ( hmm, if you only had one question you could ask Bill Clinton...). If you answered CUBA, you were correct. Pope John Paul II was visiting that bastion of communism when the Monica Lewinsky scandal first broke last year. It caused the media people to all rush back to the USA to cover the story.

Okay, so enter the Pope. What does he want? Does he want to scold Mr. Clinton for his immoral conduct with Monica Lewinsky? I think not! I believe the Pope would rather scold Bill Clinton for killing innocent civilians in the bombing of Iraq and the Sudan!

What does the Pope want? He wants to help the people in Cuba and Iraq.

What does Bill Clinton want? He wants a photo opportunity with the Pope.

Oh no, poor Pope. Not only do they make him ride around in that little Pope-mobile box, but now the leader ( and I do use this term very extremely lightly ) of the free world ( and I use this term optimistically ) wants to cuddle with him. Well, this Pope is not as dumb as he looks old ( doesn't he speak like eight languages? ). Pope Paul II obviously told Clinton to relax the embargo on Cuba and maybe his holiness would let him hold his hand in public when he came to St. Louis USA. Just maybe. And if he would quit bombing the poor Iraqis for a while, maybe the Pontiff would forgive him in public? Okay, the Pope only got restrictions eased a bit on Cuba, so Bill got 45 minutes of quality time in the Papal confessional tent, but had to help the Pope around the stage like an overage alterboy!

- Bongo ( Well, maybe only a half Lewinsky? )