Is it my imagination, or has The United States of America become overrun with people calling themselves lawyers? I think it has! From my objective view of the last few decades, I would say the number of lawyers per person in the US has gone up exponentially and not mirrored the actual population growth. They advertise on television ( considered unethical just a short time ago ); though folks used to laugh at the first ones who did. They now specialize ad infinitum; tax lawyers, trial lawyers, civil lawyers, defense lawyers, divorce lawyers; the list would fill up the rest of this page.

Lawyers who advertised on television were always thought to be a joke ( I still think they are ). I mean, these guys are supposed to be lawyers and not actors ( though these days it probably really helps ); but they get on camera and look like fools spouting this ambulance chaser-like drool that only someone with a 2 digit IQ is going to fall for. Who are they trying to kid anyway? You never saw Gerry Spence produce and air any form of true advertisement for his services.

I think the most decadent lawyers are those who negotiate business deals ( with each other, of course ). They write up some contract or probably use some forms they have left over from law school. They get the parties to sign them and collect their 10% fee. Have you ever thought about how much this could come to on a multi-million dollar deal for a couple of hours of work? Think about this one: how much cheaper could products be if they didn't have to hire all those lawyers collecting their cut?

Now, what about all those television shows with lawyers debating each other throughout the night endlessly about everything from politics to boring pending cases. Now just where did that come from anyway? Does anyone find that amusing? Sheesh, the final outcome of some big trial may be newsworthy, but all that wasted and unwanted verbage in between makes me wanna' puke.

Have you ever gotten terrible legal advice ( paid for or not ) from a lawyer and wound up getting screwed? I bet you at least know someone who has. This is because of the glut of lawyers in this country and the dumbing down of their silly specialization. They smell money and think the quickest way to it is through law school. They file as many actions as they can, so that they all can continue to collect their blood money. When there is a lawyer around, you know someone or some institution is about to cough up some money and there always seems to be loser. Well, the big losers are us!

They will probably get together and try to sue me because I told the truth about them. As we all know, the truth is a lawyer's greatest enemy.

- Bongo ( definitely the voice of reason on this one )