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The Whitehouse Kennel Club?

President Bill Clinton wags the dog big-time, in the East Room of the White House, under the guise of a press conference!

It seemed like it has been around a year since Bill Clinton hosted a press conference; by the time his hour-long charade was over I realized that it hadn't been long enough! He supported Al Gore as the creator of the Internet and a common man type farmer's son, even though Gore grew up in Washington D.C., as a legislator's son, and only visited a huge family tobacco farm in Tennesse. He saw no evidence of Red Chinese ( The People's Republic of China ) spying, even though his own National Security Advisor, Sandy Berger, acknowledged it and said the adminstration was into a deep investigation into the particulars, only five days ago. He thought his impeachment should teach children that " there are consequences for lying, even for a President ", but he couldn't directly address the question of whether or not he raped a woman?

The President began his choreographed ' wag the dog and pony show ' with a rationalization of why we may be seeing American pilots coming home in bodybags from over Yugoslavia, some time soon! He talked about personal loyalty to him as opposed to the office of the presidency and cracked a self-serving joke blaming his problems on the triviality of his looks. Further, he down played his impeachment as one tiny little spot on his brilliant record?

After some softball questions on the Kosovo situation, which he managed to almost completely evade, Helen Thomas ( at the ten minute mark ) finally asked Clinton about Red Chinese spying. This question allowed Clinton to place the blame on the previous administration, with a more serious remark than his " Leaving Los Alamos " joke from the previous night. He said, " the possibility that security had been breached at the labs... in the mid 1980s, not in the 1990s, but in the mid 80s". He went on and on about how he himself made security tighter in 1998. It was s disgraceful avoidance and rationalization, when he said " anybody who has committed it ( espionage ) should be punished ". Hey, they only fired this last spy!

At the fifteen minute mark, David Bloome asked about Red Chinese spying. Clinton replied that the CIA " has not determined that espionage happened for sure ". His response to whether or not the Red Chinese had spied under his presidency specifically was, " No one has reported that such a thing has occured ". Notice how ne never says anything about the selling of information through DNC campaign contribution quid pro quos! Yeah, right; like he was going to do that.

Clinton was actually asked, " Why have people been so mean to you "? This is when he told the " there's just something about you I just don't like " joke. A sad moment of blame avoidance and transference of responsibility!

Following Wolf Blitzer throwing Clinton a softball question ( in typical CNN/DNC obedience training fashion ) about the Hillary for Senator from New York show, Sam Donaldson asked a serious question about Juantia Broaddrick and her charge of being raped at the hands of the then governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton. Obviously, all Sam got in return was an answer not to answer the question. Hey, wouldn't a man innocent of a rape charge be screaming his innocence at the top of his lungs? So the first half hour passed with a lie and a whimper!

Mara Liasson asked him about Al Gore's Pinnochio-like bragging to have invented everything from the Internet and to have slopped the hogs like a good old boy. Clinton lightly replied, " he came a lot closer to inventing the Internet than I did ". Great, that really explains why Gore plays as fast and loose with the truth as you do! He continued, " He ( Gore ) has been for twenty years, one of the major architects of America's progress with technology "? Huh? Hey man, we have all seen Algor hugging trees, not 'puters. Pass the sodium pentathol, please!

At the fifty-five minute mark, Wendell Goler of Fox News let Bill Clinton have it! He specifically asked him about particular Red Chinese spying that took place while was president, during his first term in office. Stating that the spying was done at four of the eleven nuclear labs and was EMP ( Electro-magnetic pulse ) weapons related, Goler caused Clinton to become visibly shaken by the specificity of the question. Goler compounded the question by stating that the Red Chinese had successfully tested the stolen technology inside China! Clinton replied in part, " No one has said anything to me about any espionage which occured by the Chinese against the labs during my presidency ". His expression flushed as he finished this answer and he fiddled with an ear piece in a guilty manner. He was definately caught off guard by the question!

Bill Clinton is a deeply sick individual. Not only does he have firmly rooted sexual problems and he seems to be a pathological liar, but he continues to blatantly lie to the American people as if he did nothing wrong. I heard someone say Bill Clinton is more credible as a clown than a president. That would be funny, if it wasn't so true!

- Bongo ( Hit me Ray? )


Opinions expressed here are those of the individuals themselves; and may not necessarily reflect those of BONGO'S FALLOUT SHELTER.

Duck and cover...
Updated ( 3-20-99 )
(c)1999 Bongo.