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Iowa Caca?

Today, January 24th, The Iowa Caucuses kick off the presidential primary season.

First, understand that the Iowa Caucuses herald the beginning of the presidential primary season, but they are caucuses and not primary ballots. In a ballot, you simply show up at your polling place and then pull a lever or punch a hole for the candidate you desire. A caucus is an actual meeting of individuals with specific declarations for their favorite party champion, held at community areas through out the state. These caucus locations may or may not be the same as an individual's actual polling place. Understandably, the two major political parties have differing systems for their caucuses in Iowa. In the Democrat Caucus, the people declare their positions orally and then move to one side ( or area ) of the hall or room, designated as being the location for people to stand for a particular candidate, to be counted. The Republican Caucus has a secret ballot. Either way, the caucus system takes much longer and is much more personal than simply visiting a voting booth for a minute!

Al Gore and his royal court arrogantly accepted nearly a two to one percentage point victory in the Democrat Caucuses ( 60+ percent to 30+ percent ), with a slightly more animated Al taking the stage away from a motor mouthed Tipper. Looking quite the amateurs, the Gores managed to conceal the professionals from the DNC working in the back ground, to play the fake campaign game with the faux candidate Bill Bradley. Bradley seemed to look upbeat in getting only 35 percent of the Iowa support; good acting job? The heir apparent to the Clinton Dynasty has always been the VPOTUS, who declared that Bill Clinton was one of the greatest presidents of all time in the 1998 White House Rose Garden post-impeachment party. Since Bradley's heart problems have become common knowledge, it cannot be claimed that he ever was a serious candidate. The absense of possible realistic candidates such as Richard Gephardt, SamNunn or Bob Kerrey indicates the true ascension-like nature of the ' win at all costs ' Democrat Party presidential political machine!

Governor George W. Bush finished first with a record percentage of 41, eclipsing Bob Dole's 37 percent from 1996, with publisher Steve Forbes an amazing second with 30 percent. Perhaps unbelievable to some, Ambassador Alan Keyes garnered 14 percent to finish third, with Gary Bauer ( 9 ), John McCain ( 5 ) and Orrin Hatch ( 1 ) getting single digits! Bush may have a firm hold on the nomination, but there are still other voices expressing their views in abundance at the GOP debates. Taking Ronald Reagan's Eleventh Commandment in consideration, it may be time for Bauer to bow out and Hatch to take a hike ( McCain got his 5 percent with no campaigning )?

Both winners and losers alike were all looking forward to the first balloted primary next week in New Hampshire!

*Any percentages quoted were approximate and extremely tentitive results reported by a number of media outlets on the 24th.

- Bongo ( Vote your conscience? )


Opinions expressed here are those of the individuals themselves; and may not necessarily reflect those of BONGO'S FALLOUT SHELTER.

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Updated ( 1-24-2000 )
(c)2000 Bongo.

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