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To my counting, there were over fifty utterly phoney Democrat standing ovations for Bill Clinton, as he lied and bored us in his way through an hour and a half long State of The Union speech, that would make most folks want to throw up their last meals! The First Philanderer started off by declaring that the state of the union was the strongest it has ever been. I guess he hasn't noticed the DJIA ( Dow Jones Industrial Average ) has dropped more than ten percent in 2000 and over 500 points just this week alone? He began his misleading speech of fiction in earnest, by continuing his big lie about hiring 100,000 new cops ( in everyone's calculations, only 43,000 have been funded ) and finished with a gaff about ( the myth of ) global warming, saying we will be facing " droughts and coastal areas will flood ". Huh, which is it drought or flood? Oh, I see; you are covering all your bases with typical Clinton doubletalk! Another great gaff was, " Russia is electing their government officials for the first time in a thousand years ". Excuse me; there was no democracy in Russia around 1,000 AD? Can you spell M-O-N-A-R-C-H-Y; I knew you could!
Such subjects or quotations, which the President touched upon ( some of which received democRAT standing ovations ) included:
1) " Dream big dreams ". This made me think about Bill and Monica having fantasy phone sex!
2) " No child will be raised in poverty ". Oh, okay, they will just be raised in SOCIALISM?
3) " Quality affordable healthcare at last for all Americans ". See above!
4) " The safest big country on the Earth ". Not just the safest country, huh?
5) " We will pay off the national debt ". Sure, after we fund every extreme left wing liberal minority special interest group entitlement!
6) " Pass a real patient's bill of rights ". Just go to Canada or England and stand in line for your operation ( if you live that long! ).
7) " Common sense gun safety legislation ". Have you noticed how the liberals have changed their mantra to " gun safety ", in the hopes that we won't notice they are repealing the 2nd Amendment and confiscating all firearms, until it is too late!
8) " Campaign finance reform ". How can the Clinton/DNC/Whitehouse hacks even say this one without their tongues catching on fire?
9) " Raise the minmum wage ". He really pounded the podium on this one!
10) " We are actually paying down the national debt ". It is not because of the Democrats or Clinton; Big Government Bill propsed more new spending programs than are physically possible while keeping any surplus at all.
11) " Social Security and Medicare ". He says he wants to save them out of one side of his mouth and then attempts to spend the money on new socialistic entitlement programs!
12) " We must connect all the classrooms to the Internet ". He either has a quid pro quo with the computer and telecom companies, or an adult website waiting to pick up some hits from banner ads?
13) More federal spending programs for schools, because the " walls and wires are too old for the Internet ". Huh, the walls are too old; who is he trying to kid?
14) " Paycheck Fairness Act ". Robin Hood worship?
15) Carlos Rosas, token minority Mexican.
16) " Hillary worked tirelessly for thirty years for children ". No, this is not pandering for her in the New York Senate race?
17) " Trace every gun and every bullet ". Nazi Germany or the CCCP anyone!
18) " License all handgun owners ". Up against the wall...
19) " Close the digital divide ". See #14 above.
In my calculation, there were twenty actual standing ovations, with both Democrat and Republican legislators alike rising up out of their seats and applauding the mentioned measure, person or topic. These included ( not necessarily in the order in which they were mentioned ):
1) Senior citizen coverage for perscription drugs.
2) Equal pay for men and women ( only about 3/4s of the Republicans rose for this contrived non-issue ).
3) Free trade.
4) American dreams.
5) Tom Mauser ( father of a slain Columbine High School student ) used by the White House spinmeisters to the hilt.
6) Farms.
7) " Let's put them ( those on unemployment ) to work ".
8) Bring Red China into the WTO ( World Trade Organization ). This one is sick, man. Here we go again; like in the pre-World War II decades, when we sold scrap metal to the Japanese, we are fueling the People's Liberation Army from China in it's undeclared war on America!
9) Kosovo. Oh please, even the Republicans are going along with this most sad of ' wag the dog ' phoney wars where the United States military was deployed against innocent civilian targets in Yugoslavia!
10) Captain John Sherry, pilot deployed in the Clinton/Gore War in Kosovo.
11) Supporting the military, including the " men and women in uniform ". You can't argue with this one!
12) The Census? If the liberals get their way, it will consist of a bunch fantasy estimates instead of an actual count!
13) Hate crimes legislation. Now the government thinks they can read our minds!
14) Diversity.
15) Hank Aaron, token negro to be used politically, shamelessly!
16) Ethnic background differences.
17) " Go after drug baron's money ". I wonder how big the DNC's cut is?
18) " Pass the ( his ) budget ". Fat chance; unless you are allergic to the budget surplus or a true knee-jerk, tax and spend, liberal!
19) Janet Cohen. Enough said...
The most interesting moment of the evening, though you had to remain awake until the very end to hear it, was, " The Vice President launched a campaign to make our communities more liberal "? Slick Willie was not so slick at this time, as he fumbled verbally, looking for the correct way to dig himself out of the Freudian slip hole he found himself in. It was not to be, as the, held in contempt of court for lying, President substituted " liberal " for " livable " yet once again just a few sentences later. He made some stupid joke, which even the Democrats didn't laugh at, bit his lip and went on lying ( uh speaking )!
I started to wonder whether or not Clinton ever heard JFK, when he made the " ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country " speech? Lucky for us, the Sun is setting on the most corrupt administration in the history of the United States of America!
- Bongo ( Pass the No-Doze? )
Updated ( 1-28-2000 )
(c)2000 Bongo.