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Executive Disorder?

Bill Clinton gives the full Lewinsky to Zhu Rongji, Premier of the People's Republic of China!

Is there something piped into the air in the Old Executive Office Building for these joint news conferences; or was it just the obvious way both the American and the Chinese chief executives were blowing smoke? Each of them made a small opening statement tooting each other's horns and making a joke over the dozen Red Chinese ICBM offensive force in compared to the thousands in the American arsenal? Does anyone else see something wrong there?

Clinton's statement was a " we reviewed our ongoing efforts at - - - - - - ", fill in the blank with your favorite pet-policy or Clinton scandal subject. He announced that " economics is Premier Zhu's primary portfolio ". Though Zhu is an economist, isn't this statement a bit pithy, in the light of recent allegations of Red Chinese payments to Clinton's own beloved DNC? Okay, now I get it; it's the old " no deposit, no return " thing. He vowed to " double passenger and cargo flights between our two countries ". Can you spell M-E-N-A A-I-R-P-O-R-T? I knew you could. If there was ever a doubt in my mind about the validity of the Clinton-Chinese money connection allegations, it is gone now!

Zhu was dead-pan the entire event, but elicited a few laughs when he talked about things like the " anti-China " movement in Washington and some prior misgivings he had as he left for D.C.. He reminded me of a low-key Kruschev without the shoe when he said things like, " I am in a much better mood now that I have gotten here. I have seen many friendly faces...". He wished the USA " continued growth and friendly relations with China ", and he was glad to be here to " conclude economic negotiations on " WTO and MFN. He downplayed the communist tyranny in his country and said " the problem lies with your political atmosphere ". Oh man, he actually had the audacity to finish with, ' Dalilama and human rights..." don't dwell on these questions ". Whoa, believe it or not, this commie would actually better this act later!

Clinton fielded a question that allowed him to spin his usual unbelievable " wag the dog " yarn on his illegal undeclared war in Yugoslavia. He whimpered about the three American POWs, and gurgled that " they were in Macedonia ". He picked on his latest favorite villified bad-guy with, " What we know is, by a deliberate policy...thousands of innocent people have been killed ". He fumbled with a misleading statement about Slobodan Milosevic, " he supported strongly the Serbian actions in the Bosnian war, which led to the deaths of a quarter million people and over two and a half million people were made refugees ". I think he needs to review the number of Serbian casualities in those figures he threw around so easily! He actually had the gall to say " the human loss has been breath taking ". Man this guy is really reaching. But I guess it really is typical Democrat hate mongering fiction, with the truth to be used like an old wash rag!

Fielding a question on the reunification of Taiwan into mainland China and the American carrier fleet intervening in the Pacific Ocean near the island nation, the leaders had vastly different reactions.

Zhu said, " the policy of China and the reunification with Taiwan is more generous than that of Hong Kong ". As I recall, it was the old offer they couldn't refuse routine. He made it very clear that the press understood " we ( China ) would never renounce the use of force ". Kind of sounds like he is saying, hands off buddy. He then invoked Abraham Lincoln using force in our own Civil War. This part was very convincing to the other Red Chinese in the audience!

Clinton answered like it was a campaign, " point counter-point " debate, but he only bit his lip ( you know, somebody should stay on his headset telling him not to do that in such an unbelievable and unrealistic way ) and he then surrendered, " the United States has a one China policy ". He pleaded, " this matter should be resolved peacefully ". He ended with a stumbling rendition that the situation between China and Taiwan are different than Lincoln and our Civil War. It was pityful.

Fielding a compound question on the alleged Red Chinese espionage and the recent revelations of campaign contributions to Clinton's DNC by Chinese military intelligence officials, Zhu again answered first.

Zhu began with a line he certainly must have learned from the President himself, " I have no knowledge what so ever...and I don't believe such stories ". Whoa, the dirty commie rat then started an obviously false complimentary litany about how the US has " tight security " and how it was " impossible to steal secrets under such tight security ". He then scolded Clinton with, " technologies are the common property of mankind ". Hey man, isn't this a tacit admission of guilt? He continued, " Don't under estimate your ability to keep secrets and our ability to develope technology ". He claimed their weapons were " not stolen from the United States " but " China does not constitute a threat to the United States " anyhow. Looking quite convincingly like he was telling the truth, though probably lying through his teeth, he said he personally asked the Chinese military people accused and " they told us they didn't have any knowledge of that ". He tried to get a few laughs, but was unsuccessful, with " Why just three hundred thousand dollars; that would be foolish ". Not getting any laughs, he got serious with, " I agree to cooperate with both sides of the investigation ".

Clinton, looking at his prepared notes while Zhu spewed that ridiculous commie bull, simply said " I raised both these issues...he gave me the same answer he just gave you ". He tried to play it for laughs, accusing " the anti-Chinese crowd " of stirring up trouble. He tried to escape responsibility for his actions and pass the buck with a real boner, " Occasionally, things happen in this government I don't know about ". I wasn't born yesterday...

When asked about WTO ( World Trade Organization ) membership for China, Clinton gave Zhu the full Lewinsky and said it was in the United State's best interest and he wished " to have more Chinese meet Americans ".

Zhu was finally asked about the United State's sponsorship of a resolution condemning China at the UN Human Rights Commission. He called American criticism of Chinese human rights atrocities as " interference in China's internal affairs ". I was floored by this next one and I really wonder how this one actually translates to Chinese. " The Chinese people today enjoy unprecedently expansive democratic and political rights ". He really said that one with a straight face! He tried to rationalize their horrible treatment of the common Chinese citizen by saying, " different countries have a different understanding of this question " as he cited the old Chinese feudal system as the main reason for a strict federal government!

It all ended when Clinton was asked about the espionage that has been ongoing in his own administration. He danced around this one, managing to deny he lied at the news conference last week when he denied it then ( through some heavy parsing of words ) and finished with a technical ' no comment '. He then looked at his wristwatch, ala' George Bush, as the interpretor repeated his English back in Chinese. He realized his blunder and began to clown around. This is truely a miserable excuse for a President!

It just made me sick to see Bill " The Manchurian Candidate " Clinton allow that lousey commie punk Zhu to vomit all over the United States the way he did. This is proof positive that the Red Chinese have the goods on our precious campaigner-in-chief. Clinton has obviously been bought and paid for!

- Bongo ( Take your medicine. )


Opinions expressed here are those of the individuals themselves; and may not necessarily reflect those of BONGO'S FALLOUT SHELTER.

Duck and cover...
Updated ( 4-9-99 )
(c)1999 Bongo.