Saboteur: White House spin doctor.

Sadistic: The 'war on Republicans.'

Safety Valve: Inflatable doll.

Saliva: Truth substitute.

Sanctimonious: That's you all over, too.

Sandcastles in the Sky: Your State of the Union promises.

Sanitized For Your Protection: The impeachment trial.

Satyr: Your god?

Scandal: What's next?

Scarlet Letter: Could they stamp it on your forehead?

Scornfully: The way you're viewed by the public.

Screw-up: Better get a screwdriver to get it out of her.

Scruples: Zzzzzzzzz...

Scuttlebutt: The practice that's raised to an art form in Washington.

Senate: Theater of the absurd.

Senator from New York: If you think it's gonna be Hillary, you've been smoking too much of the White House lawn.

Seniority: Targeting priority.

Sequestered: That part of the trial which we should have seen.

Settlement: Get Out of Impeachment Free card.

Seventy Percent Approval Rating: A thing of the past.

Sexy: Female.

Shakedown: The impeachment proceedings.

Shorts: Temporary obstacle to pleasure.

Simulate: Pretend, dissemble, deceive, omit. See also Perjury.

Sleaze Factor: Another rating you give every woman you meet.

Slur: Tool of state.

Smear campaign: Taking 'em down with you. See also Larry Flynt, Misrepresentation.

Snow Job: Winter specialty in Washington.

Social Security: Sacred cow that you can lead to Communism, but you can't make her drink. See also Government Ownership of Business, Karl Marx.

Sole Food: Filet-o-Fish sandwich.

Somnambulism: "Yeah...I was...uh...sleepwalking. Yeah!"

Soundproof Room: Safe place for intimate encounters.

South Park: White House lawn. "They killed Kenny!"

Spin Central: White House Press Office.

Spin Doctor: Remember when that was a disc jockey?

Spineless: Every Republican Senator who voted against Clinton's removal.

Spouse: Inconvenient necessity.

Straw Man: Your defense.

Subpoena: Makes a nice paper airplane.

Summarily Imprisoned: What would have happened to any military man who did what you did...but then you never served in the military.

Summum bonum: Your resignation.

Sundae: Pre-church service quickie.

Swearing In: "They're not really serious, are they?"

Tainted: Whatever you say.

Take Liberties: Diddle, or abridge another's rights, depending on whether they said "Yes" or "No."

Take Off, Eh: Nope, Canada doesn't want you, either.

Takeout: Smear job order.

Talking Heads: Satellite transmitters. See also Lackey, Democrats.

Tall Tail: You're gonna need a longer cigar...

Tall Tale: "I did not have sexual relations..."

Tantrum: "Mommy, Kenny said bad things about me..."

Tax and Spend: A philosophy to which you obviously subscribe that you'll deny until your dying day.

Taxman: Political tool.

Television: I never saw one with a spin cycle before last year.

Thanks For the Mammaries: Your theme song.

Threadbare: Public tolerance, especially after the demonstration of your lack of contrition.

Tilting at Windmills: Enough, Don Quixote...it's time for dinner.

Tom Harkin: Never met a dung heap he didn't like.

Torque: Warping force of spin.

Total Recall: What will never occur when you're testifying under oath.

Totalitarianism: No need to explain; you know this instinctively.

Touchdown: Result of completed presidential pass.

Tour de Farce: The impeachment trial.

Town Crier: You after your acquittal.

Town Hall Meeting: Touchy-feely re-education. "I'm glad you asked that, and I feel your pain."

Transient: Your time in the White House.

Transparent: Your excuses.

Travesty: If only Justice could see...

Tribute: What most Republicans refused to pay, for which you declared war.

Trickle-down: Facial.

Triumphant: Only the media moguls, who laughed all the way to the bank.

Truth: Anathema.

Turkey Trots: Diarrhea of the mouth.

Turn Over A New Leaf: Find a new hiding place for inappropriate behavior.

Tyrant: You tell me...I'm sure you know much better than I.

Ulterior Motive: The only kind you know.

Unconscionable: Unavoidable.

Unconstitutional: Not dumped on (yet).

Undemocratic: Democratic.

Under Fire: Direct hit!

Underdog: The Constitution.

Underhanded: Paid off.

Understatement of the Year (1998): "These encounters . . . did involve inappropriate intimate contact."

Understatement of the Year (1999): "The question is does this rise to the level of high crimes and misdemeanors. I say yes." [Senator Robert Byrd]

Unethical: Commonplace.

Unfairness: Reason you cite for your Democrassic Jihad.

Unfunded: Bankrupt, as in intellectually, morally, and financially.

Unfurl: Depants.

Ungrateful, Unrepentant Urchin: The character in a novel that you most resemble.

Unimpeachable: The inability of the Senate to remove you.

Universal Joint: What you must have been smoking just before you gave the State of the Union address.

Unmentionable: Mentioned, for effect.

Unsatisfactory Conduct: You wouldn't have it any other way.

Untouchable: Hillary.

Unusual Punishment: Let it fit the crime(s)...

Upbringing: Hard-on.

Upstanding: "Quick, cut 'em off at the knee!"

Urethane: For spill-proof clothing.

-The Watcher ("Guilty as charged, acquitted as ordered, sir!")