Gag Order: "Swallow!"

General Election: Apotheosis.

General Fund: Swiss bank account.

Generalissimo: Your new title.

Gentleman: What's that?

Genuflection: Requirement for entry into the Oval Office (except for you, of course).

Geraldo: Another unpaid political advocate (or is he unpaid?).

Gibbous Moon: Frequent Oval Office sight, even during the day.

Gift: Egg McGuffin.

Gigatons: Amount of perfume necessary to cover up the stink of this one.

Glandular Disorder: Is that your problem?

Glibness: Your one talent.

Government Ownership of Business: Communism, no matter how you slice it. How's that for a little treason?

Grandiose: Likely every promise you made in the State of the Union address.

Graphic Nudity: New sign over the Oval Office entry.

Grass: That stuff that you say you smoked but never inhaled.

Greatness: A condition you'll never be able to touch.

Grippers: Handjobbers. Gotta keep America working!

Gross Insubordination: Your term for conduct of anyone who happens to disagree with you. Hey, you're the Commander-in-Chief, right?

Guilt: What's that?

Gulf: Distance between what you say and the truth.

Gullible: What Democrats must think the American public is. Hopefully they're wrong.

Gulp: What your mouthpieces have to do just before they spout your lies for you, or your favorite Oval Office sound.

Gumby: Hillary's pet name for you.

Hairsplitting Club for Men: You're not just a member, you're the President!

Half-truth: As close as you get.

Halo: Painted by media over your head, especially in the presence of the Pope.

Ham Sandwich: Monica, Slick Willie, and Linda Tripp. I don't even begin to want to visualize that one...

Hamster: Poor cigar substitute.

Hard Time: The rest of your term.

Harebrained: This whole sorry escapade.

Harem: Third door on the left.

Harry Houdini: The only celebrity you didn't introduce in the middle of the State of the Union Address (he escaped).

Helen Keller: What you want Republican Senators to be, and what Democrat Senators apparently are.

Henry Hyde: Unperturbed, no matter what cover-up artists and pollsters keep throwing at him.

Heritage for the Future: Lying by omission under oath, nuking sexual harassment laws back into the Stone Age, mortgaging the prosperity of our posterity (see also Social Security), dumping government funds into the stock market (see also Government Ownership of Business, Social Security), cutting out letters from the Constitution and reassembling them to make a ransom note to the American people, Oval Office orgies on CSPAN, Larry Flynt on steroids. There's more. Need I go on?

Hero: A sandwich?

Hillary: "Wa wa, wa wa wa wa."
.............."Yes, Ma'am."
.............."Wa wa wa?"
.............."No, Ma'am."
.............."Wa wa wawa wa?"
.............."I'll be good, Ma'am."

Histrionics: Another talent of many of your Democrat followers.

Holy Grail: The only thing you didn't promise in the State of the Union address.

Home Court Advantage: What Democrats think they have.

Houston, We Have a Problem: And his name's George W. Bush.

Hubris: Overweening (overwienie-ing?) pride. Yours in abundance.

Hurry Up and Wait: The conflicting signals the White House has been sending.

Iago: Linda Tripp.

Icarus: Hot up there, isn't it?

If He Only Had A Brain: Hillary's favorite refrain.

IMF: Slush fund. See also Influence Peddling.

Imitation: That pasted-on face Al Gore puts on whenever you're speechifying.

Imperial Highness: Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Improper: The single most overtaxed word used in the impeachment proceedings.

Imus: A semi-reasonable apologist. I *knew* I could find one!

Indefatigable: Kenneth Starr.

Independence Day: Your favorite movie, especially when the First Lady's chopper went down...also McRib night at the White House.

Indictment: Hello again, Ken.

Indignant: What you get when you're caught.

Infidelity: Lack of faith in Castro.

Influence Peddling: "How much is that veto in the window?"

Information: Resource to be spun.

Interoffice Memos: Monica's deliveries (nudge nudge wink wink). See also White House Talking Points.

Introduction: Sniffing each other's crotch.

Involuntary Reflex: Kneejerk.

Irrational: Defending the indefensible.

IRS: They used to think they were above the law, too!

Isometric Exercises: Shred horizontally, shred vertically. Shred diagonally, burn. Drive to the ocean and dispose of the ashes. Then shoot yourself in the head so no one can get it out of you.

-The Watcher (See? The more you use it, the easier it gets...)