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Chung King Of Wet Noodles?

Johnny Chung testifies in front of the House Government, Reform and Oversight Committee on Capital Hill?

While President Bill Clinton signs a new waiver to export a satelitte to the People's Republic of China, Johnny Chung sits at the witness table. Representitive Dan Burton ( R ), Chairman, began with a short statement which began with, " The Chinese government's actions are too serious to be overshadowed ", by recent events. Some excerpts and/or notable quotes were: " They have conducted covert operations to influence our elections ", but " this is not about politics or elections ", and finally, " This issue is a national security issue, and not a political one ". He announced, " Today, we have a friend, a cooperating witness ". He cited that over one hundred people refused to testify and eighty have taken the fifth amendment or fled the country. He asked the rhetorical question, " What would we hear from John Huang...Charlie Trei? " He also quoted the Federal judge in Chung's case, " If Mr. Fowler and Mr. Sullivan didn't know what was going on, they are the two dumbest politicians I have ever seen " ( Chung also used this line in his opening statement ). Burton specifically mentioned the " he ( Chung ) saw the U.S. consulate in China take cash for visas ", and that " Mark Middleton ( of the White House ) got millions from Asian sources ", and he has taken the fifth amendment.

Representitive Henry Waxman ( D ), Ranking member, didn't really offer an opening statement, but tried to throw dirt on Chung for his precious master, Bill Clinton. It was the old attack the messenger thing, but everyone just laughs at Waxman's crude attempts now ( he is just not as good a liar as Clinton ). He said, " Do to the false accusations Chung has made against others, I can not believe he is telling the truth ", or is " reliable and credible ".

Johnny Chung, who's father was a top member of the Chinese Communist Party, then read from a lengthy prepared opening statement. He began by declaring, " I have never acted as an agent for the Chinese government ". This was soon to be proven false, as his testimony reveals that he was an agent for members of the Chinese government. Chung went on, " I am as loyal to my country as anyone as you ", and seemed to scold, " This contraversy has been intensified by partisan politics. I didn't create this system, you did ". He then characterized his years of fund raising for Bill Clinton and the Democrat National Committee. He said he received two million dollars from 1994 to 1996 and, " they ( Democrats ) took my money with a smile, and made fun of me behind my back. They used me as mush as I used them ". He described a meeting in a restaurant in Hong Kong that was right out of James Bond. The Chinese General didn't want to be called general, and they made satelitte phone calls from a basement with a special antenna. He did repeat exactly what the Chinese military official said to him before the payment of money, " We really like your President, I give you three hundred thousand dollars to help him ". He finished with, " I plead guilty in 1998 and was debriefed by the FBI ".

Barbara Comstock, Majority Counsel, reminded that Chung plead guilty to making illegal campaign contributions to the Clinton-Gore and John Kerrey campaigns, and tax evasion. She read Chung his own line and asked him to reaffirm it, " The White House is like a subway, you have to put tokens to get in, is that correct "? Chung answered, " Yes ".

Then the cable network coverage began to burp. When Chung began to respond to questioning about direct Red Chinese military connections, all the channels went to commercials or voice-overs talking about something else? Thank God for C-Span and the Internet. He talked about connections between Charlie Trei and Mark Middleton. If you don't know the connection here, see the fifth amendment. Chung admitted he knew there was a direct connection between the money and the head of the People's Republic of China Intelligence Agency.

Henry Waxman ( D ) was back and didn't want to miss a chance to vomit on the truth. He began with, " Share your experiences with Harry Woo..." Man it was a pathetic exercise by Waxman, as he tried to parse words Slick Willie style, " Did he ( the Red Chinese military guy with the cash ) say you can give this money to the DNC and Clinton campaign "? He tried unsucessfully to imitate the master, but only managed to sound silly mincing the ' cans ', ' mays', and ' just exactly whos '. Waxman is a disgrace to the human race, if not the DNC. He tried to mischaracterize ( lie ) about Mark Middleton, who we all know has taken ( invoked, for you parsers ) the fifth amendment. Waxman read excerpts from an unsworn ' letter ', he had brought in to the hearing especially for this occasion. In the closest thing to slapstick in the hearing, Bob Barr had to disrupt the proceedings to make sure the Waxman comments were taken with as many grains of sand as thing were worth. Waxman continued after being given more time, " I think there is a lesson to be learned from all this ". I didn't need to learn my lesson about how fast and loose Henry Waxman can play with the truth.

Steven " Grocery bag of money and Chinese passports " LaTourette ( R ) asked the BIG QUESTION, were any Republicans contributed to? Chung answered, " They were all Democrats ". Contrast this with Tom Lantos ( D ), who was a patronizing Clinton defender with, " At no time did you tell them the money was coming from the Chinese military "? Ofcourse Chung's answer was, " Yes ". Next, " Was the money returned "? " Yes ". He ( Lantos ) then went into a litany about Tianamen Square. Talk about square...

Bob Barr ( R ) reinterated ( regurgitated ) the truth with, " The General's intent was for the money to go to Clinton and the DNC "? We know the answer was yes. Barr looked for answers with, " Where did the information on you leaked to the New York Times ( remember that long ago? ), come from "? Chung said, " If you find out, please let me know ". Barr illustrated this subliminal point to some, with a request to hear Chung repeat the Chinese threat on his life, " If you keep your mouth shut, you will be safe. If you talk, the situation will be out of control ". Patsy Mink ( D ) contrasted Barr, as the next Clinton defender/smoke screen artist, though she did have the Asian-American approach with, " As an Asian- American, I appreciate your testimony today ". She whined, " Chinese-Americans suffered...falsities..." She then turned into the incredible Clinton defense robot, trying to prove there was no contribution actually given to the DNC by Chinese contributors? It was sick man, real sick. To his credit, Asa Hutchinson ( R ) thought " credibility should be an issue ", agreeing and associating himself with the comments of Henry Waxman at the outset.

Henery Waxman wrapped up first, though he felt the need to but in later in an attempt to divert the truth, with another whitewash or smokescreen. Amazingly, there was one part where he seemed to indict his own party and president, with, " You ( Chung ) found a system where you put in money, you get access, and you used it ". Chung chattered in, " It's the American way ". It would sound humorous, if it wasn't the actual way it came down. Chung kept up his defensive answers when they were posed by Democrats, " It's my money; it's my business money ". Then why did they give the money back, huh? Waxman finished, " You ( Chung ) have been hurt, Maggie Williams has been hurt, Hazel O'Leary has been hurt, I am ashamed ". I think Henry should be ashamed for a whole other set of reasons.

Bob Barr summed up his indignation, " In Georgia, if it's an up and up transaction, you don't negotiate in the basement and leave through the back door ". This is when Waxbeast had to chime in, " There is nothing illegal with that "? Dan Burton pointed out the FBI thought it was severe enough to put him in protective environment ( I guess they don't say ' custody ' anymore? ).

In a nutshell, what we found out, was that all the allegations in the New York Times were, for the most part, true. And the Democrats haven't found their lost integrity.

- Bongo ( Hide the chopsticks? )


Opinions expressed here are those of the individuals themselves; and may not necessarily reflect those of BONGO'S FALLOUT SHELTER.

Is it really safe in here?
Updated ( 5-11-99 )
(c)1999 Bongo.