|
|
Name-calling: Your favorite blanket defense for any problematic situation.
NASA: Launch vehicle for your foreign campaign finances and spaced out political payback.
National Destiny: A yearly Democratic National Committee Party Congress?
Nationalist China: Fancy Taipei dinnerware? Certainly not any country you care to remember.
National Security: Something for you to compromise?
Nativity Scene: A representation of the birth of Chelsea, featuring Sidney Blumenthal, Dick Morris and Lanny Davis.
Necrosis: Time to overhaul the Whitehouse staff again?
Neptune: Yeah, still stinks.
Nihilism: Your philosophy of life. See ' Fabian Society '.
Nincompoop: The most important characteristic for any past, present or future Independant Counsel.
Nirvana: Where you actually believe you will be meeting Gerry Brown?
Nitrous Oxide: Piped into the Whitehouse air conditioning system ( at least the press room for sure ).
Nobel Peace Prize: I want one of those, how much does it cost?
No Controlling Legal Authority: 1) One of your favorite general use DNC mantras. 2) Al Gore for President in 2000 campaign slogan.
Nod: Your gesture indicating that you are not paying attention.
Nolle prosequi: The current Senate proceedings.
Nolo Contendere: Payment for services not rendered.
Nonaggression Pact: Terms of surrender to you.
Noncombustable: The Oval Office bathroom.
Noncorporeal: James Carville.
Nonfiction: Whitehouse Database/FBI computer files.
Normalcy: 1) What the country will return to, once you are gone. 2) What everyone else is yearning for.
North Vietnam: RSVP address you once recieved from Jane Fonda.
Nostradamus: Your spiritual architect for the bridge to the new millenium.
Nostrum: What the people of the United States of America who voted for you got for their vote.
Notary public: They make the blank affidavit forms don't they?
Nuclear Reactor: Boom, boom, boom.
Nuptial Plumage: 1) I ain't touching that one. 2) Hey Monica come over here.
Nymphomania: Get out of town.
Oath of Office: 1) Get out of jail free card. 2) I've got my fingers crossed.
Obelisk: Monument to Jane Does numbers one through four.
Obituary: Stepping stone.
Objective Correlative: Campaigning for Barbara Boxer in California 1998.
Objective Idealism: Are you going to believe me, or your own lying eyes?
Objective Relativism: I don't know her and I didn't do that.
Oblate: Monica Lewinsky while a Whitehouse intern?
Oblique: Your Whitehouse staff doing isometric exercises.
Obstacle Course: The truth.
Octavian: One of your favorite past presidents?
Odorous: Flagrant?
Oedipus: Hillary Rodham worship.
Oeuvre: Campaign-financegate, Filegate, Fornigate, Travelgate and Whitewater ( Did I miss any? ).
Offense: Amusement.
Office of The Presidency of The United States of America: Piece of the action.
Official Duties: Vivid imagination.
OIC: Office of the incompetent cannibal.
Oilfield: Target of opportunity.
Old Ironsides: Janet Reno.
Old Man of The Sea: Your biography?
Old Wive's Tale: What you would have the people of America believe of your oeuvre?
Oligarchy: Something you will settle for, if you can't have communism, dictatorship or socialism.
Olive Branch. 1) Something to be offered and pulled back at the last moment. 2) An offering to be ignored.
Omnivore: Equal opportunity political consumer.
One-upmanship: Not women and children first.
Ontology: A misunderstood philosophy in your ' most ethical administration in history '.
Open And Shut Case: What your impeachment trial should have been to one hundred real impartial triers of fact!
Open Door Policy: 1) DNC campaign donor Lincoln bedroom overnight stay reservations list. 2) Invitation to Whitehouse interns with supple lips.
Open Sesame: What you say just prior to ' kiss it '.
OPR: Your private woodshed.
Oragami: The paper version of what you have done to the English language.
Oral Surgery: The verbal version of what you have done to the English language.
Ostrich: The animal whose behavior most resembles that of the American public.
Oxymoron: The Whitehouse Travel Office.
Pachyderm: Emotional thin skinned amnesiac?
Packhorse: The Democratic National Committee.
Paddywhack: How you reward the Republicans before the Democrats.
Palace: The Whitehouse.
Paladin: For you, not Lindsey Graham.
Pancake: Multi-flavored full facial.
Pancho Villa: The likeness on the DNC most valueable donor award.
Pantomime: The three monkeys, uh wisemen.
Pardon: Accounts payable.
Parking Meter: In Little Rock, Arkansas, a money tree.
Partisan: 1) In private, a Democrat freedom fighter. 2) In public, a Republican villian.
Payload: Mattress tag from the Lincoln Bedroom.
Payola: Introduction.
Peace Offering: Cruise missile.
Pecksniffian: Ministering to ( from? ) Monica Lewinsky.
Pedigree: Democratic National Committee membership card.
Pencil-pusher: A soldier fighting for your version of the new world order.
Pentagon: Presidential service contract retirement home.
Persian Gulf: Positive pollaganda numbers goldmine.
Philosophy: Relatively speaking, anything you believe will benefit you at the moment.
Pickwickian: For you, absolutely truthful!
Pig In A Poke: Your biography, written by a women?
Platonic: For you, worthless.
Pluto: Wow, it still reeks!
Popular Opinion: The latest fiction to make the best seller list.
Presidency: Treasure chest.
Press Release: Unsworn, non-statement of facts.
Preview: The sound of one thong snapping.
Prey: What you look for when in church.
Primrose Path: What 2/3rds of the United States population was led down, by you and your cronies.
Production Number: Your first full Cabinet meeting?
Public: Proletariat.
Purgatory: You hope, your first post-mortem vacation spot.
Pyrrhic Victory: Your partisan impeachment exoneration, to the 2000 elections?
Quack: For Hillary, to duck her responsibility for the socialized health care program debacle.
Quail: To have a not so courageous vice-presidential attitude.
Quakergun: Vince Foster's 38 Special revolver.
Quarter: Drawing Ken Starr to a conclusion.
Quartermaster: Barbara Streisand?
Quean: Phonetically not affectionately to Hillary.
Quick Change Artist: Dick Morris.
Quid: Cushy government or private sector job.
Quilting Bee: Salad Bar.
Quixotic: What you aspire to be, but in your heart know you can never be.
Quo: Oral sex.
Rabble: Non-Democrats?
Rabid: James Carville.
Radical: College student.
Radioactive: Red Chinese guests on Saturday morning at the Whitehouse.
Railroad: Cover-up.
Rebut: What your high priced Whitehouse lawyers couldn't do to the impeachment articles.
Recalcitrant: The Congress after your acquittal.
Recuperative Properties: 1) What you seem to have an endless supply of. 2) Whitewater.
Recycled Paper: The United States Constitution.
Redacted material: The only thing that really counts.
Redeploy: Attack Ossama Bin Laden again.
Reefer Madness: What you get when you don't inhale.
Referendum: 1) Popular opinion poll. 2) Swiss bank account balance.
Remora: Your Little Rock, Arkansas cronies.
Reparte': Absent in your relationship with Congress.
Representitive: Shill.
Requiem Shark: Webster Hubbell.
Resignation: The dues Republicans pay to gain membership to your club.
Resistance: To you is futile.
Retort: Blanket denial.
Retreiver: Betty Currie ( does she point too? ).
Retrovirus: Code of ethics.
Return Deposit Requested: The dignity of the office of the presidency.
Return Receipt Requested: Hillary's Rose Law firm billing records.
Reunion: 1) Minefield. 2) Salad bar. 3) Secret Service obstacle course training exercise.
Reverend: Co-conspirator.
Rhetorician: Sex education teacher.
Right Hand Man: It should be men, but either James Carville or Larry Flynt, depending on your mood at the time.
Right Wing Conspiracy: The latest Oliver Stone movie. See ' Vast '.
Ringworm: Distinguishing characteristic.
Riptide: In polling, your job approval rating versus your personal approval rating.
River of Dreams: River of tears.
Robber Baron: Al Gore in the Whitehouse laundry room.
Roller Derby: The Senate impeachment trial.
Royal Highness: The title of your dreams.
RPMs: Benchmark for measuring the performance of your Whitehouse staff ( including outside DNC cronies and talking heads).
Rubber Stamp: Congressional Democrats.
Rumpelstiltskin: Vince Foster.
Russian Dressing: The International Monetary Fund.
Sabbath: A day for your worship.
Sacred Cow: Hillary.
Sacrifice Fly: Leaks to the media from the Whitehouse.
Sacrificial Lamb: Sidney Blumenthall.
Saddle Soap: That won't take it out either.
Sad Sack: Independant Counsel Kenneth Starr.
Safe Deposit Box: Huh, no, these are padlock keys.
Safetybelt: Velcro fly.
Sagacity: Not in Washington D.C..
Salvation Army: The vast left wing liberal Democrat conspiracy.
Scandal Sheet: Scorecard.
School Of Law: Liar's club.
Secretary: Master of ceremonies.
Secret Sauce: PCR or RFLP?
Securities And Exchange Commission: Your stock broker.
Selective Service System: All expense paid trip to Europe.
Sentimental Journey: Walking from the Oval Office to the pantry.
Seven Wonders of The World: Jane Does numbers one through six, plus Hillary.
Sewer: American Society.
Sex Partner: See ' Silent Partner '.
Sextant: A device used to measure how far you have to go to be alone.
Smokescreen: To bring everything to light.
Stock Market: Opinion poll.
Tabernacle: Porta-potty?
Tachometer: See ' Pitot Tube '.
Tacit: Kiss it.
Tagday: Every day.
Tagmeme: Non-parsibility.
Talisman: Necktie.
Taming Of The The Shrew: Filegate, Healthcaregate, Travelgate and Whitewater.
Tammany Hall: Your Whitehouse blueprint.
Tapeworm: Linda Tripp.
Target Date: Anytime Hillary is out of town.
Teaching Hospital: Two for the price of one.
Tel Aviv: Palestinian suburb?
Temporal Rift: 1) Blue dress. 2) Secret Service Whitehouse entry log.
Termpaper: False affidavit.
Testimony: Novella.
Testosterone: Meeting with Dick Morris?
Tetracycline: Daily vitamin.
Teuthis: Al Gore.
Thank You Note: Ambassadorship.
Theory of Relativity: Travelgate.
Thermocouple: Two for one at the Renaissance Weekend.
Thingamajig: Your oath of office, see ' Thingumabob '.
Throneroom: The Oval Office.
Timberwolf: Campaign trip to Oregon.
Time And Time Again: A new Jane Doe?
Tip Of The Iceberg: Kenneth Starr's OIC Impeachment Referral.
Toilet Paper: The United States Constitution.
Trivial Pursuit: Janet Reno triggering the Independant Counsel statute.
Troop Carrier: C-Span.
Truth Serum: PCR or RFLP?
Tzar: Hmmm, has a nice ring to it. See ' Czar '.
U-235: And North Korea thought it was getting a lump of coal in it's X-mas stocking?
UAW: 1) Your private army of jack-booted stormtrooper thugs. 2) A branch of your sterilized DNC money tree.
Ubiquity: Your excuse for why you were never alone with Monica Lewinsky?
UFOs: Your illegal DNC foreign campaign contributors.
Ugh: For you, a non-perjureous answer to a question.
Ultimatum: Foreplay.
Ultra-rich: Your favorite group of constituents ( ofcourse ).
Umbrella Policy: Protection from the rain of fallout from bimbo eruptions.
Umpire: Political appointee.
Unabridged: Not your Paula Jones deposition or Grand Jury testimony.
Unanimous Consent: Anyone who agrees with you.
Unarmed: Your favorite targets; see: Afganistan, Sudan and Iraq.
Uncle Sam: Dollar Bill.
Unconditional Surrender: 1) Compromise with you. 2) Wye Peace Accords from Israel's point of view.
Under My Thumb: 1) For you, Janet Reno. 2) For Hillary, you.
Understanding: Your current whim.
Under-the-counter: See ' Unpaid Bills '.
Unearned Income: Your Social Security account balance?
Unemployment Compensation: Campaign contributions. See ' Unpaid Bills '.
Unfinished Business: Chinese laundry.
Unfounded Accusations: Only those against you.
Unindicted Co-conspirators: 1) The Washington Press Corps. 2) Congressional Democrats.
Unintelligible: Your impeachment defense.
Union Card: Get into the Whitehouse free card.
United Nations: 1) Doggy reward or treat. 2) You hope, your final constituency.
United States of America: Your sandbox.
Unity: What most Democrats value over absolutely everything else.
University: Salad bar.
Unnatural Acts: Good clean fun?
Unoccupied Lincoln Bedroom: Time to make some more DNC campaign contribution calls from the Whitehouse.
Unpaid Bills: 1) Political appointments. 2) Executive orders. 3) Government contracts.
Unpublished Work: Hillary's Rose Law Firm records?
Unquestionable: Whether or not perjury and obstruction of justice are high crimes and misdemeanors.
Unsavory Characters: 1) Partial Whitehouse guest list? 2) For you, conservative talk-show hosts?
UNSCOM: International dog show circuit.
Unsecured Loan: DNC campaign contributions; See ' Swiss bank account '; See ' Unpaid Bills '.
Unskilled Labor: Politician.
Unstable Element: James Carville or Larry Flynt?
Unstained Reputation: Rewrite history.
Unvarnished Truth: Never, never, never.
Unwritten Law: Thou shalt not disagree with you ( or get in your way ).
Upswing: Always your condition in the polls.
Uranus: It still reaks.
Urban Renewal: The yearly DNC gala?
Uriah Heep: Harold Ickies?
Usurp Power: Executive Order.
Utilitarianism: Your philosophy of life.
Utopian Socialism: Your philosophy of government.
Vacuum Cleaner: Nose.
Valediction: Avoid at all costs.
Valhalla: A hall into which you will never enter, be it in body or spirit.
Valor: See ' Vanity '.
Value: What's in it for me?
Valuable Assets: 1) Fellow liberals ( perferably socialists ) who can successfully beat a polygraph test. 2) Women who can pass your personal employment test, see ' Vacuum Gauge '.
Valued Policy: State Farm Insurance ( or was it Farmers Insurance Group? ).
Value Judgement: 1) See ' Moral Relativism '. 2) See ' Vote of Confidence '.
Vandalism: One possible characterization of your tenure as the inhabitant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Vanishing Point: Fort Marcy Park.
Vast Left Wing Conspiracy: The mainstream media.
Vegetable Matter: What your manipulative oratory skills, turn the opposition's brain issue into.
Vehicular Manslaughter: See ' Vince Foster '.
Vendetta: You never hold a grudge.
Venus di Milo: The female personification of you.
Verbal Abuse: Show of affection.
Vernier Engine: Put a quarter into the magic fingers.
Version: Minute.
Vestal Virgin: Not the pizza delivery girl.
Viable Alternative: Talk to Betty Currie.
Via Dolorosa: What you would have everyone believe, your presidency has now turned into.
Viewfinder: A quick public opinion poll.
Viewpoint: See ' Viewfinder '.
Vigorous Defense: Unrelenting attack.
Village: For you and Hillary, the lowest common denominator.
Village Community: Castle Grande or Whitewater?
Vinculum matrimoii: Something to be sold on the bond market.
Vine: Where you succeeded in getting the real issues of your impeachable conduct to die on.
Violation of established norms: Setting new established precedents.
Virgin Islands: Great investment opportunities, See ' Swiss Bank Account '.
Visceral: It's what's for breakfast.
Visionary: Dream on.
Vital Function: The Whitehouse spin machine.
Voodooism: Meeting with Tyson.
Vote Of Confidence: " Hey guys, how much did ' Confidence ' give us? "
Voting Machine: One-armed bandit.
Vox Populi: The sound of their master's voice.
Waco: Janet Reno's nickname.
Waffle: The breakfast of Clintonians.
Wailing Wall: 1) Where you missed the ultimate photo opportunity of contrition. 2) Where you must have pulled the wool over God's eyes.
Waist-high: " On your knees ".
Waiting Game: Your most successful strategy of cover-up.
Waiting List: Quid.
Walden Pond: No skinny dipping in the Whitehouse pool since JFK.
Walkaway: What you can't ever seem to do, but always seem to get?
Walk The Dog: Wag the dog.
Wallstreet: The United States Congress.
War Criminal: 1) James Carville. 2) Larry Flynt.
War Of Nerves: 1) Initiation into the liar's club, see ' Wag The Dog '. 2) Hail to the spinmeisters, see ' Waiting Game '.
Warp Factor: Roger Clinton's new video.
War Surplus: 1) The resignation of Newt Gingrich. 2) The resignation of Bob Livingston. 3) 899 FBI files?
Wash And Wear: Not Monica Lewinsky's blue dress.
Washroom: Bordello.
Watchdog: Dick Morris.
Water Bearer: Nearly all that is DNC.
Watered-down: The only version of the truth we ever see from you, a real endangered species.
Water Snake: Susan MacDougal.
Watkins Glen: The race to see who hired Craig Livingstone?
Wave Machine: You and Hillary boarding Airforce One.
Waybill: Hillary's Rose Law Firm billing records.
Weasle-worded: The only way you know how to say what ' really ' happened?
Welcome Wagon: Velcro fly.
Welfare: Campaign contribution to you, see ' Swiss Bank Account '.
Welfare State: Your vision of America's future.
Well-oiled: Your Whitehouse spin machine.
Western Empire: Western hemisphere.
Whine: " The vast right wing conspiracy " - Hillary.
Whipping The Vote: Can you spell B-L-A-C-K-M-A-I-L; I knew you could, see ' Filegate '.
White Lie: For you, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Whopper: Wrong fast food chain, but the right size for lies.
Whorehouse: Whitehouse.
Wild Bore: " Don't talk with your mouth full ".
Willful Disregard For The Truth: Standard operating procedure.
Win At All Costs: Your philosophy of life; soon to be adopted as the official DNC national election slogan.
Winged Victory: Pyrrhic victory.
Witness Stand: Editting booth.
Wolf Whistle: Formal introduction.
Woman Chaser: Oral arguements?
Words Of Wisdom: " Lie, deny, and stick to it ".
Working Papers: Oral interview.
World's Oldest Profession: 1) Whitehouse welfare. 2) For you, maybe the world's second oldest profession?
Writer's Cramp: Executive Orders.
Writ Of Habeas Corpus: 1) Get out of Little Rock free card. 2) Invoking the Fifth Amendment. 3) Airline ticket to Beijing.
Wunderkind: Their nickname for you in East Germany, back in the 60s?
Wye River: Dog run.
Wile E. Coyote: To you, Independant Counsel Kenneth Starr.
X Chromosome: Definately your favorite chromosome.
Xenoclea: Paula Jones?
Xenophobia: A disease you are obviously immune to.
Yale: Yale, the gang's all here.
Yankee Devil: Bilateral invertebrate.
Yarmulke: Pita pocket for the head.
Yawmeter: Clevage ascension.
Year-around: The Whitehouse spin cycle.
Yestermorning: Easter services.
Ye-ye: Yo-yo.
Yield The Right of Way: Never.
Yoke of Tyranny: Working for you.
You CAN Teach an Old Dog New Tricks: Robert Byrd.
You Can't Take It With You: Do you have a banana in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Yourself: Yours truly, the center of the Universe.
Yucca Plant: Dick Morris.
Yuppie: DNC puppie.
Zapateado: Monica, let's do Mexican.
Zardoz: Mixing No-Doze with Prozac.
Zero-base Budgeting: Where did all the money go?
Zilch: Actually quite a bit, if you factor in the paid interviews and book deals.
Zionist Pig: The only phrase in arabic that Yasser Arafat taught you.
Zipgun: Phoney OIC leaks to the media actually originating from the Whitehouse.
Zombie: Saddam Hussein.
Zone Defense: Offensive holding.
Zoophytes: Senate Democrats.
Zymosthentic: Rich Corinthian leather upholstery.
ZZZ: The media coverage of the Clinton presidency without the scandals.
- Bongo ( The E-mail adult version is here. )
Updated ( 2-23-99 )